Tuesday, 7 June 2011

funny 1 liners

funny 1 liners. comic pictures. one liners
  • comic pictures. one liners



  • santb1975
    11-16 08:06 PM
    This Holiday season .... Give a gift to IV

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    With Thanksgiving right around the corner lets take the time to thank IV for all the successes we have had so far and for all the hardwork that has been put into this cause. Let's make a Holiday contribution to IV. Please join me in this effort. Let's all contribute. Cheers





    funny 1 liners. One Liners cartoon 10 - search
  • One Liners cartoon 10 - search



  • h1techSlave
    04-15 09:39 AM
    There is already one for this.
    CAn some one create survey for this?





    funny 1 liners. Funny One Liner Quote of The
  • Funny One Liner Quote of The



  • fide_champ
    12-20 11:05 PM
    Hi All,

    One of my friend is in a bad situation, I am posting on behalf of him,

    He is having H1B from Company A, company even filed labor, he got a project all was going well , his project with client got over on September 15th 2009. He was on bench since then, his recruiting guys tried hard marketing him and atlast after 3 mnths found a project and when the time has come for paper work, today,HR from client called and told him that his company A's HR responded them saying his H1 was cancelled on September 15th as soon as his project got over with his previous client. My friend was not intimated about this not even the recruiter and was in assumption that company is still supporting him ..He is in shock and helpless..

    Now the question is its more than 90 days since Sept 15th, what is the current situation what can he do? (has 2 offers in hand and no h1)..wat are the options he left with? Anything can be done? Can he stay and apply a new H1 or transfer? Pleas advise, Gurus appreciate your quick response.

    Thanks in Advance
    AJ

    Your friend's immediate task is to rectify the status issue. Either he has to get a visitor or a student visa and get back to status ASAP. Since his H1 was cancelled, he cannot do a H1 transfer. The other option is to go out of the country immediately and apply for a fresh H1. The new H1 would not be counted against the cap as he has not completed 6 years with the previous H1.

    The safer bet i would say is to go out of country and come back with a new H1.





    funny 1 liners. Aside from the one-liners,
  • Aside from the one-liners,



  • chanduv23
    12-11 06:47 AM
    25,000 members, every day request to raise $30,000.

    Why not happening? Even every member contribute $2, it becomes $50,000.

    The question comes to whom contribute? This web site does not belong to me. If some question is in my mind, I can't start a thread. Which individual/group it belongs to? Who can start a thread? For the last 2-3 days, I am trying to find answers.

    How many members are active? Is it or the orders of tengths or hundreds or thousands?

    If with 25,000 members, raising $30,000 is difficult, there is some problem. One of the problem defenetly it is not open - even I asked, how can I start a thread, I did not get answer.

    I think, core team to get into action to motivate people - as an example I am now so much demotivatied that thinking not visiting this site.

    Core team firefights members all the time and puts off flames and at the same time runs the organization. Their dedication has always been extremely high.

    Just because your question is not answered, does not mean there is something wrong in the organization.

    IV is a volunteer organization and everyone are unpaid volunteers. We do not have a full time professional who works for money here who can attend to customer service calls on a 1-800 number.

    If people are not contributing, does not mean core team has to be blamed. If you have noticed, there is a surge in contributions.

    Yes, in an ideal world, 25000 members contribute, we have no issues. Can you take up some responsibility and run the finding drive? People are taking turns to run the funding drive. You are most welcome to help us. If you can convince 25000 people to contribute, it will be awsome



    more...


    funny 1 liners. Funny One Liners - Picture #4
  • Funny One Liners - Picture #4



  • sam_hoosier
    06-22 04:34 PM
    Which is the best place(Kinkos,Sears,Ritz) to take photos for I-485?

    If you are just looking for the least expensive option, try CVS. The pics dont come out bad ;)





    funny 1 liners. funny one liners
  • funny one liners



  • dcrtrv27
    11-13 02:56 PM
    Is tehre is any way for PREMIUM PROCESSING for I485 pending case?
    In my case PD is current since years the I140 is approved. Backbround check etc is over. Confirmed by various sources that my case JUST needs to be picked up by IO.
    I have somebusiness trips coming up. My employer want me to find out the way to get the GC faster that way there wont be any hassle for every year renewal od AP and also EADs. and then appplying VISAs which will expire along with teh AP last date.

    Along with me my employer is also fed up now:p.
    Our lawyer being stupid; the employer wants me to find out the way to expedite I485. Since it is in last stages I think theer could be quicker way.

    I know there is the way WOM but is there any other way?:rolleyes:



    more...


    funny 1 liners. The funny one
  • The funny one



  • imm_pro
    05-20 01:13 PM
    http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=26605

    looks like the Agjobs amendment tagged to this bill is drawing lot of attention and negative publicity..

    This is why we keep close watch on Congress. In a bipartisan effort accomplished quickly and virtually under the table, Sens. Diane Feinstein (D-Calif.) and Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) -- in Senate Appropriations markup of the War Supplemental bill -- obtained approval of an amendment that would create an amnesty for illegal alien farm workers. The measure, called the Emergency Agriculture Relief Act, was added to the War Supplemental bill in a 17-12 vote last Thursday.

    Known as the AgJob amendment, the Feinstein-Craig measure revived instantaneously the controversy that caused conservatives to lash out at the White House and Congress last summer.

    The measure would grant temporary legal status to 1.35 million illegal immigrants and their families currently working in the agricultural field. The legislation was passed out of committee at the request of agribusiness interests who have been insisting that they need illegal aliens to harvest crops and run horse shows. The legislation is nothing less than �comprehensive immigration reform� on a smaller scale.

    What supporters of the amendment are calling �emergency� and �temporary�, opponents have labeled an �amnesty visa.� Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) said he considered the amendment amnesty and that �all these immigration issues should be addressed through the regular order."
    Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) opposes the amendment and said he will be working to remove it from the supplemental bill.

    �Instead of ensuring that American troops are provided with the tools and resources that they need to protect our homeland, some in the Senate have instead chosen to jeopardize this funding by inserting provisions that are -- at best -- counterproductive to the efforts of our military members,� said Vitter in a press release.

    According to Feinstein, the legislation is supported by the American Farm Bureau, the United Farm Workers, and other similar organizations but this is likely because it allows those employers to continue paying excessively low wages.

    Feinstein assured the Appropriations Committee that the bill was not an amnesty because it requires the individuals work at least 100 days a year in the agricultural industry for the next five years.

    �It is an emergency agricultural worker bill, which will give protected status to those workers who have worked in agriculture within the last 48 months,� she said, also noting that the U.S. would lose $5-9 billion to foreign competition without it.

    Those are the same arguments that we heard last summer. In truth, Feinstein-Craig DOES provide amnesty for an unknown number of illegal workers. It provides, as the Bush-McCain-Kennedy bill did, a path to citizenship for some illegal aliens.

    The amendment will go through the Senate this week as they consider the Iraq spending bill as a whole. At this writing, it isn�t clear that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) will bring the measure to the floor for a vote.

    NumbersUSA, an organization fighting illegal immigration, called the amendment �outrageous� and urged constituents to contact their political leaders. They noted that because families can also obtain temporary legal status through the amendment, it could reach almost 3 million people.

    �The most important point to stress is that there is no need for an amnesty to provide growers with workers�there already is an H-2A foreign agricultural worker program that provides growers with an unlimited number of temporary workers if the growers agree to pay a decent wage and ensure that they go home at the end of the season,� said NumbersUSA news release.

    Some farming organizations, like the Northwest Growers Association, not only support the measure but don�t think it does enough. They claim the AgJobs amendment doesn�t do enough for illegal aliens because it includes an �unrealistic visa cap.�

    But the H-2A visa program exists and works without a cap. While Craig and others claim �oranges are rotting� on trees and needs illegal aliens to tend to our agriculture, places like the North Carolina Grower�s Association (NCGA, spotlighted on Michelle Malkin�s blog), oppose the amendment and have fared well with H-2A. NCGA utilizes H-2A to its fullest capacity as other agricultural organizations do not.

    Additionally, AgJobs would maximize H-2B visas (lower skill, non-agricultural seasonal workers) and push an influx of more illegal immigrants, which clashes with what the American people want. They demonstrated their disapproval of amnesty proposals last year by a bipartisan grassroots effort to kill the immigration reform bill of 2007.

    Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Md) also slipped in an amendment supporting illegal immigrants in the supplemental bill. Mikulski hopes to extend a program for temporary workers to re-enter the country without being subject to the limits on H2B visas. In a Congress Daily article, she said, "If you like Maryland crabs, vote for this amendment.�

    "It seems that the members of the Senate Appropriations Committee love our troops�but for entirely different reasons: they provide convenient cover for passing special interest legislation to benefit illegal aliens and powerful business lobbies," wrote Ira Mehlman, Media Director of the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR) in an opinion piece yesterday.

    Mehlman also reported that Sen. Patty Murray (D-Wa.) added a provision that would include 218,000 visas for skilled foreign workers. Part of the problem is this: Right now, America�s population is 300 million. At the rate we are going with illegal immigrants (sped up by amendments like these), the US Census Bureau estimates the population will be 450 million by 2050. If a Democrat, entitlement-oriented government sinks its teeth in, taxes will be higher than ever and freedom will be in jeopardy.

    The Senate will begin debate on the supplemental bill tomorrow and is likely to vote on it before the end of the week. Some Republican senators -- including Alabama�s Jeff Sessions and others -- are working hard to expunge the illegal alien amnesty provisions. The only thing that may save the day is that the Democrats are including many of the antiwar measures that the president has vetoed in previous bills. If the bill passes, it�s likely to be vetoed.

    And Congress will be back to ground zero after Memorial Day.





    funny 1 liners. Horatio one-liners are soooo
  • Horatio one-liners are soooo



  • ksrk
    01-21 06:43 PM
    Do I need Germany visa to travel on AP, to India via Germany with Lufthansa air lines.. Please let me know.

    Thanks.

    You don't need a visa to transit in Frankfurt - meaning if you are catching another flight to a non-Schengen state (like India). Else, all "interview", visa stamping (even for other Schengen states), etc. happens in Frankfurt.



    more...


    funny 1 liners. 24 Beautiful one liners
  • 24 Beautiful one liners



  • thamizhan
    07-18 10:43 AM
    Another coverage...
    http://www.hardbeatnews.com/editor/RTE/my_documents/my_files/details.asp?newsid=13192&title=Top%20Stories





    funny 1 liners. Original and Funny One-liners
  • Original and Funny One-liners



  • solaris27
    10-15 01:57 PM
    i had LUD same day and one day after .



    more...


    funny 1 liners. to percent Funny+1+liners
  • to percent Funny+1+liners



  • gccovet
    04-17 10:19 AM
    it is on the approved labor certificate, that my lawyer gave me

    How to find associated SOC code with DOT code (DOT code is on LC certification, OCC code , Ind COde and OCC title is on certified LC)? I tried to find my case in the MS Access databases (from year 2001 to 2007) but could not find my case at all. My PD is May 2004, and LC certified March 2006(was sent to Backlog Center in Dallas), which MS Access database do I need to look into?

    My title on LC is programmer analyst (OCC code= 030.162-014), read thru the forum replies, found that programmer analyst have OCC code= 030.162-014 and SOC code=15-1031, most of them found their SOC code from MS Access database(some found in their Certified LC??? ). I am presuming my SOC code to be 15-1031, but wanted to confirm that. I am debating on invoking AC21, but need to make certain SOC code matches with future employer (future employer gave me job code as 15-1031) as my future title will be totally different (instead of programmer analyst, it will be IT Business Specialist).

    Any help/hint will be highly appreciated.

    Regards,
    GCCovet





    funny 1 liners. One Liner cartoon 6 - search
  • One Liner cartoon 6 - search



  • Dhundhun
    12-05 01:31 AM
    Congratulations and good to hear from you.



    more...


    funny 1 liners. full of funny one-liners.
  • full of funny one-liners.



  • vbkris77
    04-13 11:06 PM
    Here is the extract from Immigration and naturalization act. It is as clear as mud.. But most lawyers interpret the way we said in my previous post at least for kids born in USA.

    http://www.uscis.gov/propub/ProPubVAP.jsp?dockey=c9fef57852dc066cfe16a4cb81683 8a4


    (b) Rules for Chargeability. - Each independent country, self-governing dominion, mandated territory, and territory under the international trusteeship system of the United Nations, other than the United States and its outlying possessions, shall be treated as a separate foreign state for the purposes of a numerical level established under subsection (a)(2) when approved by the Secretary of State. All other inhabited lands shall be attributed to a foreign state specified by the Secretary of State. F or the purposes of this Act the foreign state to which an immigrant is chargeable shall be determined by birth within such foreign state except that-


    (1) an alien child, when accompanied by or following to join his alien parent or parents, may be charged to the foreign state of either parent if such parent has received or would be qualified for an immigrant visa, if necessary to prevent the separation of the child from the parent or parents, and if immigration charged to the foreign state to which such parent has been or would be chargeable has not reached a numerical level established under subsection (a)(2) for that fiscal year;


    (2) if an alien is chargeable to a different foreign state from that of his spouse, the foreign state to which such alien is chargeable may, if necessary to prevent the separation of husband and wife, be determined by the foreign state of the spouse he is accompanying or following to join, if such spouse has received or would be qualified for an immigrant visa and if immigration charged to the foreign state to which such spouse has been or would be chargeable has not reached a numerical level estab lished under subsection (a)(2) for that fiscal year; (3) an alien born in the United States shall be considered as having been born in the country of which he is a citizen or subject, or, if he is not a citizen or subject of any country, in the last foreign country in which he had his residence as determined by the consular officer; and (4) an alien born within any foreign state in which neither of his parents was born and in which neither of his parents had a residence at the time of such alien's birth may be charged to the foreign state of either parent.





    funny 1 liners. jokes and funny one liners
  • jokes and funny one liners



  • RajWantsGC
    05-12 10:59 PM
    Thanks Roger for the reply. Mine was 3 years degree. So they mentioned that it is not equvilent to U.S. Bachelor degree. They did not have any issue with my experience which is more than 5 years.



    more...


    funny 1 liners. all clean Funny+1+liners
  • all clean Funny+1+liners



  • speddi
    08-24 02:08 PM
    The scenario is

    Company A filed 485 in EB2 with an approved 140. Company B filed 140 with an older PD in EB2. After 180 days(AC21), we change to company B on H1 and company B's 140 is approved in the meantime. We can change the underlying 140 with the new approved 140(old PD). I have couple of questions:
    1. Do we have to stick to company B for 180 days again to invoke AC21 or for only the time till the interfiling process is completed and we get a confirmation from USCIS ?
    2. Does the new PD need to be current for us to file for interfiling?

    Thank you





    funny 1 liners. more funny one liners
  • more funny one liners



  • diqingshen
    07-16 09:19 AM
    How can we make the scale lean towards our side?
    Phone campaign?



    more...


    funny 1 liners. 100 Funny One-Liners
  • 100 Funny One-Liners



  • fromnaija
    12-12 02:20 PM
    What if i leave it just like that?

    That, my dear friend, is courting disaster at a later date and would be very unwise.





    funny 1 liners. semi-funny one liners and
  • semi-funny one liners and



  • texcan
    08-04 09:29 PM
    I've applied for EAD/AP renewal for both myself and my wife. I spent $1,290 for this.

    Say I got my GC approved and then I call USCIS and withdraw my pending EAD/AP application. Will I get a refund for pending EAD/AP application, if I get my GC approved before EAD/AP approval?

    Thanks,

    India EB2; PD - Nov 05
    I-140 - Filed Mar '06; Approved Jun '06
    I-485 - Reached NSC July 26'07;


    My friend,

    Donot get angry, its not personal to you...but for the action.

    Please live your life and try not to find excuses to be unhappy.
    Think about this, you have been waiting for GC ( assumption) for last 3-4 years, you must have had your times of frustration, everyone does...but now when your GC is thru or about to be thru; you have found a way to stay anxious, unhappy.

    Sorry to say these words to you, please donot mind and not take it personally.

    Be happy at least and spread some joy in community.

    See the link below, this is inspiration and actions i expect from community (IV) /friends/group. Please see
    http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Sara+Reinertsen+Ironman&search_type=&aq=f


    Please donate some time, money to IV...if not some cheer at least.





    funny 1 liners. saying, and one liners
  • saying, and one liners



  • signin241
    07-24 07:21 PM
    Hello,

    I have an unfortunate situation. My parents names are misspelled in the Birth certificate compared to the Passport parents name page. Do we need to submit the parents names page of the passport when we submit our documents for 485 ?? Please let me know if this will be a problem and if there is a work around for this ??

    Also if I have a Birth certificate (with my actual full name - dated in 2007 though), do I need to submit the affidavits ??


    Thanks





    logiclife
    06-04 01:10 PM
    This is the text that i see on Govtrack.us
    http://www.govtrack.us/congress/billtext.xpd?bill=s110-1348
    Are we missing some thing here, I see SKILL is part of this draft!!:confused:

    That text is last years text that was initially put in place as a place-holder BEFORE the grand compromise was reached.

    After the grand compromise was reached, the text of the grand compromise replaced the entire text of last year's bill (that has SKIL) was the next text.

    Amendment # 1150 (S.A. 1150) Sponsored by Sen. Kennedy is a 400 page amendment that replaces the entire text that was intially in the bill with the new text. Its a "Substitute" amendment.

    Read the S. A. 1150 text. Its also on IV homepage as PDF.





    ivar
    02-17 09:15 PM
    Do I need recent salary slips for transfer ?

    Yes you need paystubs. What your employer says when you ask the same question you are asking here on the forum. That your H1 expires 2009, your project gets over in Mar 09, how he will u give paystubs? what does he say?



    No comments:

    Post a Comment